I recently had a
big conflict with a colleague. The scenario is like the following: It was a
Sunday afternoon, and we finished a lecture to about 500 parents. A participant
Mr. Li talked to me for a while about something, and I know him for a time
period already. A colleague came to me and dragged a little far from Mr. Li,
and challenged me: ”Why don’t you go to help Cindy to move the materials but
talking to this man?” I was very angry and felt losing face in front of Mr. Li,
then I told her I was busy and couldn’t do it. She became angry too.
If Using NVC to
resolve the conflict, I would tell her that her tones at that time before Mr.
Li was criticizing, and it made me feel angry. My needs were to be respected
and I also need autonomy. So I would have requested her to leave me, and I
would decide how to do.
For two
strategies, I could tell her if Cindy needs help, she can come to me directly.
And second, I would ask Cindy to discuss with me when to move the materials, I
can arrange more people to help.
I enjoyed reading your post. I think that using productive conflict can be a great strategy to minimize negative climate. showing respect is vital and it build healthy relationship.
ReplyDeleteHi Li,
ReplyDeleteI wanted to chime in and respond to your blog post by stating that as an individual we have the right to express our feelings when we feel that someone has disrespected and made us feel unvalued. Although you were angry, you could have responded in a totally different way. Your co-worker had no right to interfere and take it upon herself to maybe save Mr. Li because she felt that you had taken too much of his time. Hopefully, you have had the opportunity to express to your co-worker how she made you feel. I have found that sometimes we have to take the high-road and step back to reassess the situation. Thanks for sharing your blog!